they need to just BURY HIM!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize