i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
