i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize