Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
