Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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