I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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