people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
