mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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