Her vagina should come with caution tape.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
