omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
