i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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