butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
