It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't deserve a penis
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
