I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
