Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
