Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
