i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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