Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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