**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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