Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
