Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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