god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
