yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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