at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
