What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
