I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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