So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
