I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
