I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
