Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
