4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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