after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
