Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
