honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There r osticjed everywhere
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize