I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
