Porn is love you can see.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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