omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
