I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
