She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
