I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
