i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
