How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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