Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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