I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
is that a dick in a sweater?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
