I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
