Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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