all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
