i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
