my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
