so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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