Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
