after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
