Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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