I forgot how hot balto sounded
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
