just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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