We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
