he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize