the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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