why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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