either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
