I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
