so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
