mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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