im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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