i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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