the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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