My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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