my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
