Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
