Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
