whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
