Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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